Alice of Spades and Seven Days
by M i s s. CANDYcancer
Summary: Raven brings Home American Mcgee's Alice, Robin rents the Ring, Gothika spoofs along with other horror spoofs PG13 for Samara she's well a very naughty child.


Soru: Oh Hey every one WHat is up.... my home... fry....skilit...biskut....mash buter and jelly....pina collata..DAWG? Ahhhh some one help me I have Sivi von stuck in my head (a chorus song...God knows why I'm still in that class for third period, I would rather be in Computer graphics or art or something...I guess its Mr. Choate-- I'm ranting aren't I?) Anypoo! I'm continuing this Ficcy!...but just to add to the fad, I'm throwing in The ring, and Ringu...along with some other horror spoofs...believe me this will just get weirder and weirder just like one of my YAY reviewers said " Ok that was strange" yes it is, and will become more so! I can't decide between dialouge or-- WHOO PICTURE IT WAS JUST INSTALLED! damn viruses! well I'll just shut up and write the story now JA NE! Oh and My littl ebrother won't be here today, foot ball pratice, I'm on my own, but I had pixie stix so thats okay!...um JA!  
  
I don't own teen titans, and I've decided to make every one happy! I will be putting, Ra/cy, Ra/bb, Ra/Rob and ST/Ro and any other pairings you might want, I'm open to all of them! Whoo! But just incase no one likes that Idea Yet another poll from dear Soru Skelligton, My Jack plushie and Kurt kitty helped me with this.  
  
Vote for you're favorite pairing (which will be the main one)  
Raven:  
  
Raven/Robin  
  
Raven/BB  
  
Raven/CY  
  
Starfire:  
  
Starfire/Robin  
  
Star/BB  
  
Star/CY  
  
Vote for both and if you don't like the choices above just place one in, I even can do a yuri or a yaoi just because it's a humor! plus it'd be easy for me cus I'm bi! (so sue me? I'm damn proud! got a problem with that, well kiss my suspenderd and chained clothed ass! )  
  
Phillip the nickel enjoy!  
  
Ja ne!  
  
Happy reading! (oh and the rating will definatly go up!)  
  
:Alice of Spades And seven days:  
  
Robin bursted in through the door way.  
  
"Hey everyone, to play out the wait for Raven's OCD untill we get to play the game, and she stops watching the intro over... and over again...I got us a couple horror movies!"  
  
Starfire grinned like the mad hatter on tea, " Movie Terrors, so I get to make skin contact with Robin, yes?-- I mean...Terror movie's...Insert exclamation!"  
  
As Robin remained oblivious to the swooning alein bouncing around him like a basket ball on carck, he went to go visit Raven who stopped the game, and started over, while spontainously shouting "Why is a raven like a writing desk, Because IT doesn't give very good notes dumbusso!"  
  
"Raven?" He said trying to get the obbsesed Girl's attention.  
  
No reply, for she was involved in a world of 'Shrooms and Stoned caterpillars.  
  
"RAVEN ROTH!" He said waving the video tape infront of her face.  
  
-CRACK!-  
  
Robin looked at the once whole vieo tape, now reduced to half the size, for dear Raven had bitten the cover off.  
  
"So wha'd you get, I'm kind of tired of listening to Raven ramble on about Raven's and and fire's, and spades, and banna's..."  
  
"Banana's?" Cyborg said giving a questioning look.  
  
" YES I SHALL HAVE MY BANNA AND I SHALL EAT IT TOO! TAKE THAT YOU BASTARD CAT ALL WAYS GOING ON...with..with your fancy riddles and such..." Raven said eye's glued to the screen.  
  
"Have you ever seen her like this?" Robin said giving a terrified look.  
  
Beast boy went up to poke her.  
  
-CRACK-  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! -gasp- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HUUUUUUU AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AH AH AH AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DUDE SHE BITE OF MY FINGER!"  
  
"Hey this is like in Rose Red...with out the door..." Raven said taking her eye's off the screen.  
  
She Got up too look at him.  
  
" Oh MY God! DUDE! BLOOD! IT'S RED..like...EVERY WHERE!! "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! -gasp- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HUUUUUUU AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Hey I got an idea starfire wanna go peirce our tounges?"  
  
"Wha..What?"  
  
Raven ran away and suddenly came back with a safty pin jammed into her tounge and an ice cube on the bottom.  
  
"Oh Man...It Hurts..AH!"  
  
"RAven? ARE YOU OKAY?"  
  
"OH NO IT'S OKAy.. MY OLD BOY FRIEND DID PEIRCINGS...HE LIKE..NO IM JUST JOKING I DO THIS ALL THE TIME! HAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahjahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahajajajajajajajajajajahajahajahaja..ja...jaja...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! PHCYE!...HAHAHA..OH GOds I think I hit the wrong spot..HAHAHA I CAN'T BREATH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!I BLEED LIKE BESTBOY! BANNNA...BANNNA....BANN-NA-NA-NA! BANNANA!"  
  
"...."  
  
"...."  
  
"...."  
  
"...." Was all the titans could say as they watched Raven dance on the couch as she laughed her ass off...scareraming of Banna's..."  
  
"So you guys wanna see what movie's I got?" Exclaimed Robin, completely ignoring Raven.  
  
"Sure!" Said Beast Boy doing the Exact Same thing.  
  
"I got, The Ring! Tommorow I'm Gonna get, Ringu, and Tomie!"  
  
"1,2,3,4, and 5???" Cyborg said yelling with glee.  
  
"Uhhh, sure Cyborg..."  
  
"You like these so called, Ja-po-ne-se-a films, yes Titans."  
  
She reciebed 'How-Dare-You-take-the-name-japanese-films-in-vain!' glares.  
  
"O.O...yes."  
  
"Okay, so the ring is an american version of Ringu, much more morbid than Ringu in my opion, but you know."  
  
"Okay lets pop it in."  
  
They walked over to the DVD player, and Popped in The Ring.  
  
-5 minutes Later-  
  
"Come on BB, just get the remote and press play..."  
  
"DUDE WHAT THE FOOK? EVEN THE TITLE MENU IS SCARY? I"M NOT DOING IT!"  
  
"B.B....chair."  
  
"AHHHHHHHH!"  
  
"You do it Robin."  
  
"You do it Starfire."  
  
"You do It Cyborg!"  
  
"BANNANA!"  
  
"..."  
  
"Right..." Robin said giving Raven 'a look'.  
  
(Soru: Oh man I just went up to get something to eat and I came back down and I just renewed my account on the puter and then I forgot the password, and then after about like thrity minutes I remembered I changed it again...and thought about the jagstang guitar! YAY! back to the ficcy)  
  
"Dude let's just start the movie."  
  
"Okay....Dawg."  
  
-  
  
All of the titan's sat huddled up against one another as the got to the sequence when they discover Samara's room, (a/n: Oooh Imma getting chills just thinking about it, I LOVE IT!) Beast Boy Was not in the form of a horse, just to scare away Samara, Robin was shoving his face with pop corn...which..they...now...have...I mean...have allways had...DAMN IT HUSH AND READ! Starfire Hiding behind the couch to scaref to even hold onto to Robin, but just for the hint of romance on her part she cut off a lock of his hair and applied it to her life sized Robin sex toy Dummy, "Only a couple teeth and we'll be ready to party!" She quietly whispered (a/n: O.o?).  
  
Cyborg Had his red eye covered and was in a little ball, crying.  
  
Raven was hugging her Alice strategy guide.  
  
Rachel opened the drawer and found a set of files, she jumped as a cetipedecrawled out., amognst the files her eye caught a video tape.  
  
She hesitated.  
  
'No Rachel..you have to this, for you...for Adian...for Noah...for Samara.'  
  
She popped in the the tape and watched in horror as the little girl said her ever so famous line -  
  
"But I do, I do want to hurt people, and I'm sorry." Raven repaeted with the tape.  
  
Robin let out a scream.  
  
"BANANA!! BANNANANA!" She shouted, destroying the horror-mood. (Don't you just hate that?)  
  
"God damn it the dvd screwed up!"  
  
"It did? here just Kick it--" Cyborg said kicking the dvd player all the way to the other side of the room.  
  
"Good thing it's wire less?" He said rubbing his neck.  
  
-glare-  
  
"Hey look it's back on!"  
  
-  
  
Samara looked as though she was adjusting the camra.  
  
"I love you!"  
  
She puckered up her lips and smiled. (A/N: Gothika spoof!)  
  
There was a bed next to the camara, you could tell they were inside the well.  
  
On the bed in chains was...  
  
AIDIAN???????  
  
-  
  
"HOLY SHIZA! NOW I KNOW WHAT SHE MEANT WHEN SHE SAID "COME PLAY WITH ME ADAIN!!!"  
  
-  
  
Samara leaned over Adain, "Oh yes, Adian! My Kitten, COme play!"  
  
Adian struggled, But the strap on was in his mouth, so he couldn't do anything about the decaying 10 year old rapist.  
  
"ON YOUR KNEES DAMN IT! ON YOUR KNEES!!!"  
  
-crack-  
  
-crack-  
  
-whp chh!-  
  
Adian went wide eyed  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S MICHEAL JACKSON ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
"Adian you know I don't like to hear you, remeber this time, I want it good!"  
  
(a/n: what in the God-ess's name..possesed me to write this?)  
  
Samara turned to the camara  
  
Her hair parted  
  
"You're next, my sexy little cum kitten!"  
  
She flashed her tounge and the tape went blank.  
-  
  
The phone rang.  
  
Robin turned to the phone, still traumatized, by what he had just seen.  
  
"h-hello..I mean..yo doggie..g?"  
  
"You'll (&(&()BE)()DIE) crackly se$&v&)&En907089D0-890-GA789089-ys"  
  
"I will die in seven days?"  
  
"no...($(&(You&)LL&U()&)BE(()()&)&()&KILLIRYE(&(I(N()SEVEN(()D)AYS"  
  
"I'll be killed in seven days?"  
  
"Can you hear me now....GOOD! You're calling plan bill will go up in seven days, better hope you're not roaming!"  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOT MY CELL PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Wait that's not all!"  
  
" -back to normal- listening."  
  
"you will also be raped in seven days!"  
  
"Oh well thanks for making your call!"  
  
"Ja NE!"  
  
-click-  
  
-blink blink- "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH NO OH GOD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Oh my Gods Robin? Is your call plan bill going up?"  
  
"Not only that but--"  
  
"Better hope you're not roaming!" Cyborg piped up.  
  
"WE're gonna die in seven days!"  
  
The power went out.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S SAMARA!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Acctually I just blew a fuse...I was playing Alice."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
The power came back on.  
  
"YAY WE're SAVED!" They all screamed.  
  
-far away voice of a little rapist dead girl- "Acctually that was me!"  
  
"damn... So yall wanna play Alice?"  
  
"SURE!"  
  
-  
  
Well I hope everyone enjoyed that chapter, this is a bit better than the first, not by any means good, just better than the first, next chap coming in soon, be sure to vote JA! 


End file.
